Have you ever been working on a project and plugged one too many tools into an electrical outlet? Suddenly, the power for that outlet cuts off, and you're stuck until you can re-set the circuit. Despite its frustrations, this is a safety feature to keep you from frying yourself or starting a fire somewhere. An overloaded circuit simply won't do what it's designed to do -- deliver power.
I get into that state sometimes: four writing projects, three meetings, two emergency phone calls (somebody will start singing "and a partridge in a pear tree" pretty soon) and my nerves are fried. Sometimes I find my thinking going around and around the same little racetrack of all there is to do, without being able to get a real start. Or fear starts in and tells me I'm going to miss getting something done and end up on the sidewalk with a cardboard sign. All of it is foolish thinking, of course, but it sucks up the available energy and I start reacting with frustration instead of the love I should have. It's time to focus on the one, most important thing.
What's the 'most important thing'? Getting back to relying on the love and power of God, instead of staying on the hamster wheel of relying on myself and my energies. In Psalm 142, after several verses talking about being overwhelmed, David says "Then I pray to you, O Lord. I say, 'You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life. Hear my cry, for I am very low. Rescue me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me.' "
When he wrote Psalm 142, David was reflecting on his experience hiding in a cave, running for his life from Saul's entire army. And to think I get worried over a messy office! David said: "You are all I really want in life" and he was exactly right. Sermons, study papers, meetings, conference calls, home repairs, dirty floors, fussy children, and lost dogs will all come and go. Only God is forever.
"They are too strong for me" says David. Mine are too strong for me, too, and only God's strength can keep me from being swallowed up by too much stress (or paper). I need to ask God for the calm, and his love, to do each task with love, which is not my natural thought when I'm overloaded. Only his love flowing through me will keep the circuit alive, and the real power available. Then maybe I can get some of this done!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Cleaning & Maintenance
The Lovely Joanne came home from a business trip, walked into our bedroom and started sneezing. I knew she hadn't become allergic to me (and I'd had a shower that day) so it had to be something in that room. Out came the vacuum, furniture cleaner and window cleaner, and the room got cleaned out. We found dust bunnies under the bed and behind the furniture, and a lot of dust from places we had forgotten we had. But a week later, it was coming back, so we've had to do it again. And again. The lawn needs mowing, weeds keep growing, and the house needs different repairs -- it seems impossible to keep ahead of it all.
Isn't it like that with our spiritual lives too? We just get one thing under control -- so we think -- and something else pops up. Like dandelions in green grass, we seem to have problems popping up one after another, and they sometimes get ahead of us. Just when we think our anger is defeated, lust pops up, or envy or resentment. And when we work on those, anger makes a comeback.
David prayed in Psalm 51: "For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night." He had learned what he was like, and he felt helpless against the power of sin in his life. David's release from guilt was through repenting, throwing himself on God's mercy and leaving his guilt behind through the forgiveness God gives.
But he also knew that sin would never leave him alone. He prayed "How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart? Cleanse me from these hidden faults." (Psalm 19:12). Part of David's spiritual life was maintenance work -- stopping to ask God to show him what he needed to know about himself, looking in the deeper corners of his thoughts and emotions, and asking for forgiveness from sins he hadn't recognized before.
Prayer, study, meditation, fasting, solitude and silence, simplicity, service, confession, worship and other spiritual disciplines are the 'maintenance tools' of our spiritual lives. Like the extension wand on the vacuum, they help us to get into the recesses, the little-seen parts of our lives that accumulate sin and bad habits. Like window cleaner, they help us see better. Like cleaning and oiling a bicycle, they help us function as we were designed to, walking alongside God and hearing from him all the time. On the other hand, if we neglect these disciplines, then the dust and rust, and the sin and guilt and shame and pain build up in our lives, and we start falling apart.
A couple of highly useful books in this area are Richard Foster's "Celebration of Discipline" and Dallas Willard's "The Spirit of the Disciplines." A daily devotional, either in book form or as an online tool coming to your phone or email inbox, can also help keep us in front of God. (Biblegateway.com and Crosswalk.com are two of hundreds of online resources.) Whatever way we do it, spiritual maintenance is a necessary, not optional, part of life with God. So if you don't have such a plan, now is a good time to start one. Need help designing one? Just ask.
Isn't it like that with our spiritual lives too? We just get one thing under control -- so we think -- and something else pops up. Like dandelions in green grass, we seem to have problems popping up one after another, and they sometimes get ahead of us. Just when we think our anger is defeated, lust pops up, or envy or resentment. And when we work on those, anger makes a comeback.
David prayed in Psalm 51: "For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night." He had learned what he was like, and he felt helpless against the power of sin in his life. David's release from guilt was through repenting, throwing himself on God's mercy and leaving his guilt behind through the forgiveness God gives.
But he also knew that sin would never leave him alone. He prayed "How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart? Cleanse me from these hidden faults." (Psalm 19:12). Part of David's spiritual life was maintenance work -- stopping to ask God to show him what he needed to know about himself, looking in the deeper corners of his thoughts and emotions, and asking for forgiveness from sins he hadn't recognized before.
Prayer, study, meditation, fasting, solitude and silence, simplicity, service, confession, worship and other spiritual disciplines are the 'maintenance tools' of our spiritual lives. Like the extension wand on the vacuum, they help us to get into the recesses, the little-seen parts of our lives that accumulate sin and bad habits. Like window cleaner, they help us see better. Like cleaning and oiling a bicycle, they help us function as we were designed to, walking alongside God and hearing from him all the time. On the other hand, if we neglect these disciplines, then the dust and rust, and the sin and guilt and shame and pain build up in our lives, and we start falling apart.
A couple of highly useful books in this area are Richard Foster's "Celebration of Discipline" and Dallas Willard's "The Spirit of the Disciplines." A daily devotional, either in book form or as an online tool coming to your phone or email inbox, can also help keep us in front of God. (Biblegateway.com and Crosswalk.com are two of hundreds of online resources.) Whatever way we do it, spiritual maintenance is a necessary, not optional, part of life with God. So if you don't have such a plan, now is a good time to start one. Need help designing one? Just ask.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Marriage
I've decided I love my wife.
I hope that is no surprise to The Amazing Joanne, but of course like all married men, I sometimes don't act like I love her, and often I don't appreciate her as I should. Proverbs 18:22 says "The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord." So according to that verse, I've got a treasure and have received favor from God. I agree! I don't deserve her love, and I am blessed more than I can measure to have a life partner, friend and the amazing ministry partner she is, in my life.
Paul says in Ephesians 5:25 that husbands should "love" their wives. In society of that time, marriage was a social convenience for raising heirs to the man's family, and love was often given to the man's mistress instead. As he often did, Paul turns this human idea on its head and says that the man should love his wife "just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her." Men tend to be a tad more selfish than that. Sometimes if we're being heroic we give up our lives for a cause, but not for our wives. But Paul instructs us that, as the Messiah sacrificed himself for the sake of the church, husbands should give up our own agendas and desires and priorities in order to serve our wives.
Marriage experts will tell you that a wife will feel nurtured and cherished by this behavior by a husband, and respond by loving him; but Paul doesn't talk about whether a wife will respond, he merely says this is our duty. Her response, if any, is secondary and we aren't to serve in anticipation of a return, but because God says we must. (Loving in order to get a response that we want isn't really loving anyway.) Still, it shouldn't be drudgery; in verse 28, he says "In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself."
A man who will love his wife this way, whether he feels like it or not or thinks she deserves it or not, learns some of the love that Jesus himself has for his church (a church that is, by all accounts, not perfect nor sometimes seems loveable). He may learn some humility as he reflects on how our Savior loves the church in spite of itself, and so loves him in spite of himself; and that might encourage him to love his wife with true selflessness. I'm working on that one and will be for some time to come. But still grateful for the treasure and favor God has given me in Joanne.
I hope that is no surprise to The Amazing Joanne, but of course like all married men, I sometimes don't act like I love her, and often I don't appreciate her as I should. Proverbs 18:22 says "The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord." So according to that verse, I've got a treasure and have received favor from God. I agree! I don't deserve her love, and I am blessed more than I can measure to have a life partner, friend and the amazing ministry partner she is, in my life.
Paul says in Ephesians 5:25 that husbands should "love" their wives. In society of that time, marriage was a social convenience for raising heirs to the man's family, and love was often given to the man's mistress instead. As he often did, Paul turns this human idea on its head and says that the man should love his wife "just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her." Men tend to be a tad more selfish than that. Sometimes if we're being heroic we give up our lives for a cause, but not for our wives. But Paul instructs us that, as the Messiah sacrificed himself for the sake of the church, husbands should give up our own agendas and desires and priorities in order to serve our wives.
Marriage experts will tell you that a wife will feel nurtured and cherished by this behavior by a husband, and respond by loving him; but Paul doesn't talk about whether a wife will respond, he merely says this is our duty. Her response, if any, is secondary and we aren't to serve in anticipation of a return, but because God says we must. (Loving in order to get a response that we want isn't really loving anyway.) Still, it shouldn't be drudgery; in verse 28, he says "In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself."
A man who will love his wife this way, whether he feels like it or not or thinks she deserves it or not, learns some of the love that Jesus himself has for his church (a church that is, by all accounts, not perfect nor sometimes seems loveable). He may learn some humility as he reflects on how our Savior loves the church in spite of itself, and so loves him in spite of himself; and that might encourage him to love his wife with true selflessness. I'm working on that one and will be for some time to come. But still grateful for the treasure and favor God has given me in Joanne.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
"God Doesn't Love Me"
"Yeah, I know, the Bible says 'God so loved the world' but that means the planet -- not people like me." I know people who feel this way; who insist that it's impossible for God to love someone who is like they are. The way some people act, it is certain they don't feel loved, or believe that God loves them. But is God's love for us true, whether or not we believe it?
Here's how Paul put it in Ephesians 1: "Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure." This says that the Father committed himself a long time ago -- really, before time existed to measure 'a long time ago' -- to create us and bring us into his circle of love. And to create the mechanism for that inclusion, the Son (we know him now as Jesus Christ) committed to come into human flesh, to bring us to the Father through the Spirit's work.
People hadn't been made yet, and the first sin hadn't been committed when all this planning took place. But because God (whom we know as Father, Son and Spirit) created us with the freedom to make choices, it was inevitable that somebody, sometime, would make the wrong choice and send us all down the wrong path. So the decision of God to love us and save us in spite of our sins was inevitable, right from the first. It was part of the package.
That means this: God already knows what kind of person you are, and loves you anyway. Jesus, the Son of God in the flesh, loved you so much he went through the same meat-grinder of physical life that you go through, and then died to pay for all our lousy decisions (including the idea that God doesn't love us!) and then was brought back to life to give us life. "God is love" (1 John 4:8) and since God himself is limitless, God's love is limitless,which means he loves you whether you're having a good day (or life) or a bad day (or life). He created you and me out of love, and he intends to love us forever.
That's his story, and he's sticking to it.
Here's how Paul put it in Ephesians 1: "Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure." This says that the Father committed himself a long time ago -- really, before time existed to measure 'a long time ago' -- to create us and bring us into his circle of love. And to create the mechanism for that inclusion, the Son (we know him now as Jesus Christ) committed to come into human flesh, to bring us to the Father through the Spirit's work.
People hadn't been made yet, and the first sin hadn't been committed when all this planning took place. But because God (whom we know as Father, Son and Spirit) created us with the freedom to make choices, it was inevitable that somebody, sometime, would make the wrong choice and send us all down the wrong path. So the decision of God to love us and save us in spite of our sins was inevitable, right from the first. It was part of the package.
That means this: God already knows what kind of person you are, and loves you anyway. Jesus, the Son of God in the flesh, loved you so much he went through the same meat-grinder of physical life that you go through, and then died to pay for all our lousy decisions (including the idea that God doesn't love us!) and then was brought back to life to give us life. "God is love" (1 John 4:8) and since God himself is limitless, God's love is limitless,which means he loves you whether you're having a good day (or life) or a bad day (or life). He created you and me out of love, and he intends to love us forever.
That's his story, and he's sticking to it.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Soul Amendment
The Lovely Joanne has been working in the soil lately, planting flowers and helping me in the vegetable garden. The soil around our house is mostly clay, which is fine for some plants and not so fine for others. We've decided that it needs "amending" which is a term for adding different components to the soil. Soil amendments loosen the soil or make it hold water better, or make it more or less alkaline. This is so the soil can be more balanced, have more nutrients available for the plants, and in general help the plants grow better -- that is, soil the way it's supposed to be.
I have a plan for soil amendment in our garden. You may or may not have realized that God has a "soul amendment" plan going on in your life. Why is that? Well, all of us have grown up in a world that is far from what God intended. In Romans 5, Paul describes the desolation that rejecting God has brought on the world: "When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned." So even if we had loving parents and a happy childhood, we've grown up in a broken world, and one way or another we ourselves are broken. We need help--and God gives it! It comes in the form of "soul amendment" -- not only forgiveness of our sins, but a whole new life in Christ, a life of growth and change.
Some of what my lawn and garden need can be simply spread on top, and it will soak in and do its work. Other amendments need to be dug into the soil, so out come my shovel and spading fork to turn it all upside down. The worms aren't happy about being dug out of their home, but it has to be if I'm going to give then a new bunch of goodies to chew on. Sometimes 'soul amendment' has to be done that way too, even though it seems very painful at the time. James writes in chapter 1: "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow." Ouch! Joy?? I'd rather be comfortable, and receive joy from getting a fat tax refund. But being comfortable doesn't usually help us grow, and it won't break up the spiritual 'hard ground' we've all inherited as children of Adam and Eve.
We usually don't know how to handle the discomfort during a trial or difficult time. James continues in verse 5, "If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking." God doesn't leave us alone or without resources -- he remains a generous and loving Father who wants us to thrive, and will provide wisdom and encouragement. Sometimes those come from his word, and sometimes from other people.
Soil amendment can be hard work, and it takes time. Same with soul amendment. But in both cases, the eventual result is beautiful growth, showing the best of God's creation -- the way it is supposed to be -- in our gardens, and in our souls.
I have a plan for soil amendment in our garden. You may or may not have realized that God has a "soul amendment" plan going on in your life. Why is that? Well, all of us have grown up in a world that is far from what God intended. In Romans 5, Paul describes the desolation that rejecting God has brought on the world: "When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned." So even if we had loving parents and a happy childhood, we've grown up in a broken world, and one way or another we ourselves are broken. We need help--and God gives it! It comes in the form of "soul amendment" -- not only forgiveness of our sins, but a whole new life in Christ, a life of growth and change.
Some of what my lawn and garden need can be simply spread on top, and it will soak in and do its work. Other amendments need to be dug into the soil, so out come my shovel and spading fork to turn it all upside down. The worms aren't happy about being dug out of their home, but it has to be if I'm going to give then a new bunch of goodies to chew on. Sometimes 'soul amendment' has to be done that way too, even though it seems very painful at the time. James writes in chapter 1: "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow." Ouch! Joy?? I'd rather be comfortable, and receive joy from getting a fat tax refund. But being comfortable doesn't usually help us grow, and it won't break up the spiritual 'hard ground' we've all inherited as children of Adam and Eve.
We usually don't know how to handle the discomfort during a trial or difficult time. James continues in verse 5, "If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking." God doesn't leave us alone or without resources -- he remains a generous and loving Father who wants us to thrive, and will provide wisdom and encouragement. Sometimes those come from his word, and sometimes from other people.
Soil amendment can be hard work, and it takes time. Same with soul amendment. But in both cases, the eventual result is beautiful growth, showing the best of God's creation -- the way it is supposed to be -- in our gardens, and in our souls.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Neighboritism
The last few weeks in church, we've been discussing how we can obey the "second great commandment" as it is sometimes called. Jesus agreed with a lawyer in Luke 10:27-28 that the summary of the entire law was to love God with all we have, and to love our neighbors as ourselves. The lawyer of course, being a lawyer, wanted to define neighbor. He should have quit while he was ahead! The Lord gave him, instead, a reminder that "neighbor" really means "anybody around us."
Of course, the problem is that the people around us are so inconvenient! They have bad habits, they irritate us, they're not trustworthy and they often aren't the kind of people we'd prefer to be around. So we tend (like the lawyer) to spend our time and attention on those we're more comfortable with. With or without expressing it in words, we may say things like "they're not like us;" "they have too many needs for us to help with;" or even "he got himself into that mess, he can get himself back out."
In the book of James, written by the brother of Jesus, we're instructed that favoritism speaks against the love of Jesus Christ: "If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor”—well, doesn’t this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives?" (2:3-4). James goes on to say in verses 8 and 9, "Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law."
It may be impossible to give lots of time and attention to everyone in our lives, especially in the days of email, Facebook (some people have 2,500 'friends' on FB -- is that even possible?) and a generally over-extended lifestyle that a lot of us have. But that's not what James is saying; he is telling us not to favor one over the other due to judgmental thinking, writing some people off because they don't fit our standards or we feel better about loving others instead.
I have neighbors that take good care of their grass, keep their stuff neat and don't make much noise. I have others who, well let's say, aren't quite as considerate. It's easy to start thinking of them as a nuisance, assigning them a "back seat" in friendship compared to the ones that are less trouble. But that's just what James tells us not to do. Our love for others is supposed to stretch to everyone, even if they are not like us or maybe more trouble than we'd like to deal with. After all, God has loved "the world" (John 3:16) not just a select few.
If the "glorious Lord Jesus Christ" (James 2:1) had died only for good people, where would that leave me and you?
Of course, the problem is that the people around us are so inconvenient! They have bad habits, they irritate us, they're not trustworthy and they often aren't the kind of people we'd prefer to be around. So we tend (like the lawyer) to spend our time and attention on those we're more comfortable with. With or without expressing it in words, we may say things like "they're not like us;" "they have too many needs for us to help with;" or even "he got himself into that mess, he can get himself back out."
In the book of James, written by the brother of Jesus, we're instructed that favoritism speaks against the love of Jesus Christ: "If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor”—well, doesn’t this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives?" (2:3-4). James goes on to say in verses 8 and 9, "Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law."
It may be impossible to give lots of time and attention to everyone in our lives, especially in the days of email, Facebook (some people have 2,500 'friends' on FB -- is that even possible?) and a generally over-extended lifestyle that a lot of us have. But that's not what James is saying; he is telling us not to favor one over the other due to judgmental thinking, writing some people off because they don't fit our standards or we feel better about loving others instead.
I have neighbors that take good care of their grass, keep their stuff neat and don't make much noise. I have others who, well let's say, aren't quite as considerate. It's easy to start thinking of them as a nuisance, assigning them a "back seat" in friendship compared to the ones that are less trouble. But that's just what James tells us not to do. Our love for others is supposed to stretch to everyone, even if they are not like us or maybe more trouble than we'd like to deal with. After all, God has loved "the world" (John 3:16) not just a select few.
If the "glorious Lord Jesus Christ" (James 2:1) had died only for good people, where would that leave me and you?
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Perspective
Haley, our little stripey cat, watched in fascination as The Lovely Joanne swept the kitchen floor. The motion of the broom against the floor seemed to hold Haley's attention, but I wouldn't bet two cents on her understanding the process. And when the vacuum cleaner started up, she headed for the hills in fear!
Sometimes life seems that way, doesn't it? Things go on around us that are impossible to understand, or that frighten us. We aren't the first ones to see that, though. The writers of the Bible expressed some of the same sense of mystery with God's working. In a fascinating passage about God's offer of grace, Isaiah expressed the thoughts of the LORD in 55:9 by saying "For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." David expressed in Psalm 139 how much greater God's thoughts and power are than humanity's. Our ability to comprehend God's eternal purposes, his absolute wisdom and the intricacy of how he works in human affairs, is narrowed by our own limited perspective.
My life has been like that. My mother died when I was 19, and because she still had two young daughters at home, I was sure God would heal her of cancer and keep her around. He didn't, and I miss her to this day. But life has gone on; my stepmom is a wonderful woman who has been a great life partner for my dad, and I've learned to thank God she is around. Twenty years ago, my denomination started a radical re-thinking of all our teachings, leading to throwing out a large number of un-biblical ideas and embracing what we once called error. It frightened and unsettled me, and many of my friends headed for the hills when it happened -- some I have not been able to contact since. It has taken me all this time to begin to understand the true splendor of the perspective we have now, and that I am privileged to pass on to others. I am awed daily by the beauty of God's grace, whereas 25 years ago, I was sure 'grace' was just an excuse for those who didn't try hard enough to obey God.
It's been a tough journey, and there were some days I didn't want to go on. I still don't know why God allowed some of it to happen the way it did, and at the time I doubted I ever would come out of it at all, let alone have anything to be glad or thankful for. In 1 Peter 1:6-8 we're told, in part, "There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while." I'm learning, gradually, to trust that promise even when the joy isn't clear yet.
Isaiah, in 64:7-9 writes "we are the clay, you are the potter" as a reminder of how much greater God's purpose is than we, mere clay by comparison, could understand. Likewise, Haley has no more chance of understanding The Noisy Vacuum Monster than I do of truly knowing what God is doing. But when these difficult things happen in my life, I pray I can hold on until the pain eases and I can breathe again, and that I will get another glimpse of the love and glory and wisdom of God somewhere along the way.
I pray the same for you.
Sometimes life seems that way, doesn't it? Things go on around us that are impossible to understand, or that frighten us. We aren't the first ones to see that, though. The writers of the Bible expressed some of the same sense of mystery with God's working. In a fascinating passage about God's offer of grace, Isaiah expressed the thoughts of the LORD in 55:9 by saying "For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." David expressed in Psalm 139 how much greater God's thoughts and power are than humanity's. Our ability to comprehend God's eternal purposes, his absolute wisdom and the intricacy of how he works in human affairs, is narrowed by our own limited perspective.
My life has been like that. My mother died when I was 19, and because she still had two young daughters at home, I was sure God would heal her of cancer and keep her around. He didn't, and I miss her to this day. But life has gone on; my stepmom is a wonderful woman who has been a great life partner for my dad, and I've learned to thank God she is around. Twenty years ago, my denomination started a radical re-thinking of all our teachings, leading to throwing out a large number of un-biblical ideas and embracing what we once called error. It frightened and unsettled me, and many of my friends headed for the hills when it happened -- some I have not been able to contact since. It has taken me all this time to begin to understand the true splendor of the perspective we have now, and that I am privileged to pass on to others. I am awed daily by the beauty of God's grace, whereas 25 years ago, I was sure 'grace' was just an excuse for those who didn't try hard enough to obey God.
It's been a tough journey, and there were some days I didn't want to go on. I still don't know why God allowed some of it to happen the way it did, and at the time I doubted I ever would come out of it at all, let alone have anything to be glad or thankful for. In 1 Peter 1:6-8 we're told, in part, "There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while." I'm learning, gradually, to trust that promise even when the joy isn't clear yet.
Isaiah, in 64:7-9 writes "we are the clay, you are the potter" as a reminder of how much greater God's purpose is than we, mere clay by comparison, could understand. Likewise, Haley has no more chance of understanding The Noisy Vacuum Monster than I do of truly knowing what God is doing. But when these difficult things happen in my life, I pray I can hold on until the pain eases and I can breathe again, and that I will get another glimpse of the love and glory and wisdom of God somewhere along the way.
I pray the same for you.
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