I used to think the word "grace" was just a wimpy way of thinking about following Jesus -- so that people who couldn't obey
him well would hope to get grace instead. I thought that, on the rare occasions I didn't obey right, I could grovel before God and ask for grace 'just this once.' I was taught was that the whole idea of Christian life was to obey more, get sin out of my life (mostly by my own effort), and wean myself off the Lord's forgiveness as fast as possible until I didn't need grace at all. After all, Christ had gone to a lot of trouble at the cross to forgive me, and I didn't want to wear out my welcome by asking for grace all the time.
Finally, I began to understand that grace is how God relates to us all the time, out of his love for us, not because we can't obey perfectly but because we can't obey at all. (Even if we go through the motions of obedience, our motives are still impure.) Then, I began to enjoy receiving grace, but the problem was, I didn't realize that I wasn't giving grace to other people in my life. I was still the same selfish person who demanded performance from others while being glad God had already covered my lack of performance through Jesus. You might say I was just a teeny bit disconnected from reality.
The Lord finally started straightening out my messed-up ideas, through some very difficult situations in my life, and giving me some mature and loving Christians who mentored me and lovingly pointed out my hypocrisy. It has taken years but I'm happy to say I am beginning to see opportunities to give grace to others. At least some of the time.
All of this brings up the point that Christian life, becoming spiritually formed in the image of Jesus Christ, is a journey and not an event. We don't suddenly stop sinning by receiving the Holy Spirit, we don't instantly cast away every temptation after baptism, and a person doesn't mature instantly any more than a fine wine or cheese does. A journey means, among other things, being patient with the process, with ourselves, and with others as we journey together.
No, we're not there yet. But the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the ongoing fellowship of the Holy Spirit in our hearts (2 Cor. 13:14) will carry us there. We'll enjoy the ride a lot more if we relax, ask the Lord how the journey works, and help others enjoy it too.
May the Lord give you peace as you walk with him!
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